Stehaufmännchen: Be a weeble, not a pillar
I've been thinking about self-discipline and failing at it. About dealing with disappointment and managing moodiness that arises out of it. And I realized I can't be a pillar. It's probably not a good idea anyway.
Pillars stand strong and tall. Being a pillar symbolizes strength and reliability. But when they fall, boy, they are down. And the thing about life is: You can trust it to pull the rug from under your feet at some point. You'll slip, stumble and fall. It will happen.
So, don't be a pillar.
Instead, be a Stehaufmännchen! The German word, Steh-auf-männchen, translates to “stand-up-manikin”, also known as tumbler or weeble.
Stehaufmännchen get pushed over all the time. In fact, people like pushing them over. But the falling does not matter, because a Stehaufmännchen is built to rise again.
I want to be like that. There's this weird expectation in my mind, that I should be able to just overcome my deficits, to suddenly (magically?) fail much, much less. Yes, failing less should still be the long-term goal, and it needs serious work to get there. Coaching, meditation, reflection, all sort of methods come to mind.
But in the meantime, I really ought to focus on recovering quickly from my failures. Not brooding over them, not drowning in self-pity and whatnot. Rather: Apologize, rectify what can be fixed, learn what can be learned—and move forward.
In some future, I'll be flawless. In the meantime, I'll be a Stehaufmännchen.